Listen up, Pal!

Listen up, pal!

This post is aimed at the driver of this world and focused on drivers in The Greater Toronto Area. I focus on The Greater Toronto Area because here is where I noticed the terrible drivers! I’ve spoken to people from other areas and they too have noticed the drivers here are nuts.

Is it because the population here is the greatest in Ontario – like some claim? Or is it due to the amount of foreigners with a driver’s license who in fact never seen a car until now – let alone drove one. Either way --- If you drive in this area read my post.

If you get nervous driving on the highways – STAY off of the highways. There are other routes to take that will keep you off them. Use Google maps. It’s a fine little tool! I do not like driving on highways. I know this about myself so I take other routes instead of taking the highways. It takes ONE asshole to make the highways a mess.

There are some drivers out there that need to stay out of the driver’s seat, period! Not everyone can drive. If you think you are a good driver - read my checklist for examples that will let you know if you are a good driver or bad driver. ;-)

1) If you slam on your breaks going 100+km an hour on the highway, then
You are a BAD driver.

2) If you slam on your breaks, period, then
You are a BAD driver.

3) If your foot is on the break pedal more than on the gas pedal, then
You are a BAD driver.

4)If you drive continuously in the fast lane going slower than everyone else on the highways, then
You are a BAD driver. Stay the hell out of the fast lane!

5) If you slow down to look at a car accident or a car pulled over, then
You are a BAD, BAD driver. (You back traffic up, ASSHOLE. DRIVE!)

6) If you feel you’re a NASCAR driver and weave in and out of traffic, then
You are a BAD driver.

7) If you always get beeped at, then
You are a BAD driver.

8) If people stare at you and give you that "you're an asshole" look as they pass you,then
You are a BAD driver

9) If you see the ‘bird’ daily by passing drivers, then
You are a BAD driver

10) If you are driving in a construction area and you see the sign that indicates it will be going down to one lane. And you do not merge when you see that sign, then
You are a BAD driver. You are NOT getting ahead by driving further – you are backing up traffic, asshole!

11) If you do not understand number 10, then
STAY out of the driver’s seat – take a drivers course given by a reputable company, if you do not take my advice. Then you will be a BAD driver, guaranteed!

12) If you speed in a construction area, then
You are a BAD driver

13) If you text or read text, emails, etc. while driving, then
You are a BAD driver and a dangerous driver!

14) If you sit at green lights and do not go, then
You are a BAD driver. Pay attention, douche bag!

15) If you do ANYTHING other than drive your car when you are in the driver’s seat, then
You are a BAD driver!!


It’s because of you people that traffic exists – it’s because of you people that make road rage real.

I actually enjoyed driving until I moved here. Now, I sit at green lights and watch people go on red. I sit in traffic because there is an asshole that has stopped his/her car in the middle of the road to watch a police who has someone pulled over. Or even worse they want to view a car accident. Weirdo!
I get mulled over by the public transit buses – if you do not move right when they turn on their signal they will push you into on coming traffic! It’s down right nutty.

If every driver gets trained properly and has common courtesy we may make the Greater Toronto Area a little less backed up with traffic.

Or maybe I just need to move!